Posts by Evidently Apostate

322

My son was murdered today

by truman in

i have been on this site daily, almost from its beginning, since i left the jws in 2001, but i have been more of a reader than a poster, as you can see from my post count.

i know few here know me, although i know many of you through reading your posts.

maybe it is not right to ask for support, when i generally stay quietly in the background of this forum, but i want only to speak a human misery of the deepest kind.

Choices you have to make after you learn the "truth"

by stuckinamovement in

jw
friends

choices.

by my nature i am not a negative person.

should i live my life as a hypocritical, tortured pretender, or stand up for what is right and lose my reputation, friends and family?

Evidently Apostate

it sounds like your concience will not let you teach your children something you find morally offensive. I love how the org always pressures us to never trust the heart, wonder why?

46

2/15 WT " Preserve the Positive Spirit of Congregations" - Translation :Submit

by flipper in

jw
friends

once again, this was a real " jewel " of a study article by the wt society full of contradictions , controlling expressions , and manipulative wording in order to take away jehovah's witnesses free will and freedom of mind .. initially the wt society makes it appear that they are " concerned " about witnesses actually keeping the " peace " between themselves.

notice this quote from pg.

20, paragraph 7, " true friends keep personal matters confidential.

Evidently Apostate

amazing how i thought those were encouraging at one time. now i have a hard time stomaching thier demand for control in the watchtower.

11

i am finding it hard to pray with my children

by Evidently Apostate in

i have been fading for 6 months but my wife is still in and always asks me to pray at dinner and when i put the little ones to bed but i am finding prayer to be more of a pretense than heartfelt.

i have to pray for the sun or the earth but why thank him for the food, hell thank me for going to work everyday .who put us in the house we live in, god?

its really hard for me to pray for anything anymore as i have an anger toward him and dont want anything to do with a future (mythical)paradise under his control, so why ask for it?.

Evidently Apostate

i have been fading for 6 months but my wife is still in and always asks me to pray at dinner and when i put the little ones to bed but i am finding prayer to be more of a pretense than heartfelt. i have to pray for the sun or the earth but why thank him for the food, hell thank me for going to work everyday .who put us in the house we live in, god? Its really hard for me to pray for anything anymore as i have an anger toward him and dont want anything to do with a future (mythical)paradise under his control, so why ask for it?

18

Did you DF yourself on purpose?

by Evidently Apostate in

jw
friends

lately i have been thinking about saying something apostate to my elder father in law.

he is an uber witness and actually believed that god interveined and saved him when he had a heart attack and kept him alive, until he told me that and i asked him why jehovah allowed jws in nazi concentration camps to suffer horribly and die but he loved an alcoholic more than them.. i havent been to a kh in 6 months or in service in years.

i grew a beard and basicallyhe avoids talking to me.

Evidently Apostate

Lately i have been thinking about saying something apostate to my elder father in law. He is an uber witness and actually believed that god interveined and saved him when he had a heart attack and kept him alive, until he told me that and i asked him why jehovah allowed JWs in Nazi concentration camps to suffer horribly and die but he loved an alcoholic more than them.

I havent been to a KH in 6 months or in service in years. i grew a beard and basicallyhe avoids talking to me. i could care less but he and his wife talk to my wife and lay on the guilt. i am getting sick of the attitude from all of them. the fake sympathy and condesending looks are pathetic and if i am DFed i wonder if most of the bullshit from the witnesses will go away. Most of the old jw friends i had are shunning me already so why not DF on purpose. They wouldnt be disfellowshiping me, i am disfellowshipping them.

32

"Disobedience is very costly"

by TOTH in

wow, i had some words with my father in law.

over the years i have always had such a profound respect for him because he used to speak from the heart and used the bible to express his view, but lately he has become more and more "wt-ish" with his comments.

my wife has been suffering from severe pain for years due to injuries suffered at the hands of her 1st husband.

Evidently Apostate

that guy is a true asshole, the watchtower belief just allows him to justify his pathetic behavior. all i could think of when i read this is my father in law elder and how i would be , probably in jail

5

losing my religion

by Evidently Apostate in

jw
friends

have you kept your faith in god?

i know this has been discussed but i am suprised at my change in beliefs.

imo pretty much all of the hebrew scriptures are about an angry god who reminds me of an abusive father.

Evidently Apostate

have you kept your faith in god? i know this has been discussed but i am suprised at my change in beliefs. imo pretty much all of the hebrew scriptures are about an angry god who reminds me of an abusive father. most of the little book prophets were written by men who liked to consume mind altering substances which is the only logical explanation for daniel and ezekiels visions.

i still appreciate the attitude of jesus though, his kindness, generosity. the only faith i can feel anymore is based on human emotion yet the watchtower will gloss over kindness for order and unity.

pretty sad IMO

EA

16

the cult is slowly taking my family apart

by Evidently Apostate in

its been 3 years since i made my decision to fade and i am starting to think our marriage might not survive.

my wife is under pressure from her parents to push away from me.

the anniversay card they gave her(not me) was nothing more than jw propaganda, parts were actually highlighted.

Evidently Apostate

black sheep i have been shunned but not labeled an apostate yet and it would be very painful for my wife if that happened she is not trying to hang me on anything. she keeps most of it in and then reaches a point where she has to vent. i understand her feelings and would hold no anger even if she did talk to elders, it would expidite my freedom.

otwo i have suggested therapy and she is hesitant but i plan to ask again. no matter how many times i tell her i love her and assure her i am here for us i can always detect the sadness i have caused .

flipper sorry about your daughters, it scares me to think my wife is raising my children as jw's and that they might turn on me someday. idont no if i could handle that.

truth i love and support her not the cult she belongs to. i cant let my children see me encouraging her to go to the hall. i am trying to minimize the importance of the hall. i have never prevented her from her worship or belittled her beliefs but i just cant bring myself to advocate the religion anymore.

16

the cult is slowly taking my family apart

by Evidently Apostate in

its been 3 years since i made my decision to fade and i am starting to think our marriage might not survive.

my wife is under pressure from her parents to push away from me.

the anniversay card they gave her(not me) was nothing more than jw propaganda, parts were actually highlighted.

Evidently Apostate

its been 3 years since i made my decision to fade and i am starting to think our marriage might not survive. my wife is under pressure from her parents to push away from me. the anniversay card they gave her(not me) was nothing more than jw propaganda, parts were actually highlighted. i never bring up the religion and avoid the negative thoughts i have about it but we have 20 years together and when she pushes me for a reason why or trys to bait me into a debate i simply tell her the truth.and once you learn the history, the deception, and the attempts to cover the mistakes the only thing i can think to say is "it is simply a man run organization, a lie". i have tried avoiding the questions but she takes my silence and runs with it, there is no avoiding it sometimes, although i usually tell her how much i love her and our children and how i am here for her.

I know some might think i am being confrontational but i do not want that. i had hoped that we could just live together as a family and enjoy our children and the time we have , i have taken her on more trips, romantic weekend getaways, and walks in the country than i ever did when i believed. it is painfull to realize that now that i have a true understanding of my mortality and finally have stopped taking my relationship for granted i fear losing her. no matter what i try the religion is always there like the elephant in the room it is unavoidable.

but i think the most painful thing in my life right now is when she looks at me with that look, a look almost like as if i cheated on her and to know i cant take the pain away. i feel every time we talk about my feelings which is a topic i never initiate a little of our marriage dies. she says i have been brainwashed with the things i have researched on the web, it is a stabbing irony and sometimes i feel a hate for god for allowing a false hope to slowly erode the love i have given half my life to.

EA

260

Are you sure leaving the JW religion has made your life better?. Lurkers think twice

by mankkeli in

on this forum, i have carefully read most of the experiences of those who left the jw religion, i have even read experiences that have dated back to 2001, i have read the different circumstances surrounding their exits and what ensued upon leaving.

for the majority, i observed they are better remainning in the religion than leaving.

what benefit is there to strain family relationship because you want to be free?, please tell me, of what value is that freedom?,.